“It’s every guy’s worst nightmare, getting accused like that.”

“Can you guess what every woman’s worst nightmare is?”

Quirky, disturbing, occasionally funny and sweet, and ultimately frustrating.

“I stood by you…even when we had to eat the reindeer.”

also

“I smell gingerbread!”

Slay Belles is to holiday horror what Bikini Valley Carwash is to automotive detailing. All that’s missing is Ron Jeremy.

“No laptops, no phones, no connecting to anything…bye world…”

Also…

The BMB Cat returns to the theater!

Just when we thought we were international zombied out…

Derivative, more than a little chewed over, and predictable…but eh…it’s alright.

Outpost Keating, located in a remote portion eastern of Afghanistan, was attacked by a massive Taliban force on 3 October, 2009.

Two men earned the Medal of Honor.

The Outpost is a story of that battle and those men.

“…look around…the guy practically lives in a Clue board”

also…

“What were the words overheard by the Nazi child masturbatin' in the bathroom?”

“You? Karate? Impossible.”

Ok…I have to admit…since watching The Social Network it is impossible for me to see Jesse Eisenberg act and not think I’m watching Mark Zuckerberg. That may be the reason The Art of Self-Defense makes me a little queasy.

What’s old is new again

also…

“I’m tired of this $#!+ !!!”

“Can I do the other leg?”

This was the most predictable, unoriginal movie I’ve seen this year…until it wasn’t.

The Kitchen is a lot of things, but the most important is that it is not what it seems.

“It also smells of bacon, you know?”

That is a great set up for a line like “And so does this movie…except that people like bacon,” but that is too harsh. Gretel & Hansel isn’t a bad movie - it’s just not particularly good and nowhere near as creepy, scary, or suspenseful as the trailers for it. It’s just kind of there.

“I haven’t changed. I just keep a lid on it.”

Stallone. John Rambo. The (maybe) final chapter in a forty year movie franchise.

Rambo - Last Blood (which is a lot of words, so we’ll just call it RLB), is the bookend to a five film series going back to the 1982 Rambo - First Blood. With stops in Vietnam, Afghanistan, Burma-Thailand, and Mexico, it has been a violent travelogue of America’s and the world’s most troubled spots...

Some movies are just bad.

This is one of them.

We usually go light on Spoilers here, but we’ll hop right into them because this movie stinks so bad I don’t think it is actually possible to spoil it anymore than it already is.

We don’t have much to say about this movie.

That’s chiefly because this movie doesn’t say a lot.

The promo for this short (65 minute) piece describes it as “Truly Independent,” a “New Approach to Suspense” and “Critically Acclaimed.” That, and its length, were enough to convince me to give it a try.

“Dangerous.” - Indiewire

“Not appropriate” - Time

“The most talked about movie of the year that no one has actually seen.” - The movie’s marketers

We’ve seen The Hunt. We’re ready to talk about it.

Ron Jeremy is the best actor in this movie.

Ok…I have to admit…when I saw this pop up on Amazon Prime I scrolled past. Then I came back to it. A few minutes later I was watching it, thinking “I am totally not watching this movie…and no matter what, I’ll never write a review on a movie named Bikini Valley Car Wash.”

I’m writing a review on a movie named Bikini Valley Car Wash.

I Really Need to Watch Happier Movies…

Joker is not a happy movie. Or a particularly good one.

So what’s the story?

Chewed over Tropes or Fresh Food for the Brain?

The Night Eats the World brings the shambling zombie genre to Paris in a film that is either dully derivative…or deviously original.