“I stood by you…even when we had to eat the reindeer.”

also

“I smell gingerbread!”

Slay Belles is to holiday horror what Bikini Valley Carwash is to automotive detailing. All that’s missing is Ron Jeremy.

So what’s the deal with this one?

SB kicks off with a pair of twentyish Youtuber urban explorers and their bestie (Kristina Klebe, Susan Slaughter, and Hannah Minx) exploring an abandoned amusement park called Santa Land. The scenes are fun and goofily authentic, likely helped by Slaughter’s “serious” work as a paranormal podcaster and occasional TV Ghost Hunter.

After poking around in candy cane forests and gingerbread houses, the three discover that the park isn’t quite as empty as they thought. Exploring one particularly shadowy building, the ladies are attacked by an enormous (and disturbingly and visibly sexually arroused) monster called the Krampus (not to be confused by the 2015 film of the same name…ok, it is obviously a lift, but run with it for now).

Things look bad when a bearded buff bikerish Barry Bostick shows up to save the day, tackling the monster, wrestling it, and poking it with a big #@!$ stick.

There is more to the story and we won’t spoil the ending, which is pretty clever, but will give a soft reveal (that you can guess if you look at the poster): Bostick is Santa and has been locked in a years-long battle with the Krampus (Joel Ezra Hebner).

So is this movie any good?

Oh, yeah.

First, while the cast are not Meryl Streep and Dustin Hoffman, they are no kidding actors who know their business - particularly the horror genre. More important, they seem to be having enormous fun playing to a great Dan Walker and Jessica Luhrssen script that drifts - intentionally - between 1970s porno dialogue (“I’m no cop…but I’m packing” and “Oh no, I’m a naughty girl!”) and genuinely funny visual gags, including the girls taking selfies with a tied up Krampus and a thoughtful Santa looking into the eyes of a stuffed Rudolph mounted on the wall.

So a couple of warnings:

The language is pretty strong, so if that is a problem you may want to put on your profanity filtering headphones. There is also a lot of sexually suggestive clothing, though only one very brief flash of nudity and, despite a ton of implied violence, not much actual gore. It isn’t for younger kids, but safe as milk and cookies for most teens.

Check it out HERE and let us know what you think!

Three out of Five Krampus Cats.